Mom - 5 Things Your Son Needs You To Do.

-By Hillary Gruener. Have you ever walked into your sons room and wondered if it was you? If it was you who somehow missed the mark in teaching him how not to live his life like an Orc? You walk further in, attempting not to swear as you step on the broken LEGO’s and razor sharp rocks. You grimace as you notice the boogers on the wall, candy wrappers carelessly hidden under his pillow, and dirty shirts hung upside down in his closet. How did he even do that? You dare to look under the bed only to find shoeboxes stacked neatly, until you open them and find the trash you had asked him weeks prior to throw away within their contents. Deeper still you wander into the abyss where you find racing striped underware, lying face up, piles of musty towels you couldn’t find the other day, and spilled milk that has now become his science experiment. In your frustration, you wonder where you went wrong, or if he will ever learn. I am describing to you my 8 yo sons room on any given day, and I know many of you other mamas have the same experience upon walking into your sons rooms. But recently, I decided to look a little deeper into the chaos and found something beautiful. I found a mason jar filled with the dried up hummingbird moth we had found together a few months prior. I found his collection of hundreds of rocks, each holding a memory he remembers vividly. I found his Thor shaped wooden tree hammer we had found adventuring by the lake this past summer. I found his books he gets lost in under his pillow and fossils we had found together as a family in Germany. I found sticks carved into weapons that he had made with his dad, and a dried up stink bug he attempted to make his pet. I found so many things that make up the adventurous, courageous, and curious heart my son holds within him. I found who my son was. He isn’t his mess. He isn’t his shortcomings, even though most days I fail to see it. Now having two, I can say with all honesty that I love raising boys, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And even though I’m daily disgusted with their sticky fingers and smelly farts, I have learned to find the beauty in the chaos. And as you most likely identify with, you also know that sometimes it’s hard to let our little peanuts go. Let them go to be who they were created to be. Dangerous, courageous, and adventurous little spirits that sometimes need a little less control, and a little more trust. Yes, if you’re a mother you know this need to keep them safe, and in that process we sometimes get lost and hold them too close, missing the mark as to what they need from us. What a son needs from his mom: 1. He needs you to let him go and let him fail. Why did you have children? Was it to make you happy or fulfill some kind of purpose in your life? 2. He needs you to admit it when you’re wrong. If there is one thing I have learned from parenting, it’s that I am not perfect. I screw up…probably on a daily basis. But if I want for my son to recognize and realize he doesn’t always need to be perfect, then I need to show him that I am most definitely NOT. 3. He needs you to affirm him in what he wants to do, not what you want him to do. Whether your son loves sports and is more athletic, or they enjoy art and are creative, it’s very important that we nurture what they love to do, and not try and mold them into what we want them to be. 4.He needs you to model your believe, not force it on them. I came up with a quote, and it goes like this. “Prepare your children for the world he WILL grow up in, not for the world YOU want him to grow up in." — WFTB 5. He needs you to model what a healthy woman looks like Your son might marry someone who is similar to you. It’s just how things work, which is why for you to be healthy, makes it all the more important. A healthy woman emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. Whatever that means for you to do that, do it. Being a healthy person is not only for your own good, but also your family. In conclusion... A mom and her son is a bond that no one can break. Be very careful with this privilege, as it is indeed a privilege. We have so much power in how our son will see himself, decide who his future bride is. Empower him, but don’t coddle him. Protect him, but don’t do everything for him. Point him in the direction he should go, but don’t always take him there.